Finding Home
by LostinOblivion
Summary: Emily is being distant, Morgan is getting frustrated, they can't find a house, and they have to deal with some  difficult news from Addy's pediatrician. Morgan/Prentiss. Sequel to 'Faces from the Past'.
1. Chapter 1

_Finally, Addy story number seven, sorry it's been so delayed. This story will be chaptered, though a shorter chaptered story. And yes, the title sucks, but this series is really hard to title for some reason.  
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_For those who just stumbled into this, this is part of an ongoing series, and I suggest you read the others first. The entire chronology of the series is in my story called, "Series".  
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* * *

><p>"Hey babe, do you need some help with her?" Morgan asked.<p>

Emily had Addy on the changing table, trying desperately to wrestle the baby into her dress and legging set. Addy was screaming like she was being mercilessly tortured.

Emily finished without a smile, and turned to him. "Can you just take her for a minute, so I can finish getting ready?"

He nodded, and scooped up the baby, who looked at him with big, wet eyes, and when she saw her mother leaving the room, began to scream again, squirming around, and thrusting her body forward, wiggling her arms. "Shh, come on now, Mama's not going anywhere, sweetheart."

Addy continued to scream, and Emily had stopped, turned and held her hands out for the baby. "I'll just get ready with her," she sighed.

Morgan considered arguing, but with Emily's mood, it would just make things worse, if they could get worse that is. He slid the baby back into her mother's arms, and rested a hand on Emily's shoulder, while making an attempt to kiss her. Emily shrugged him off, and turned away, walking off toward the bathroom.

Morgan tried to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach.

It had been eight months since they had decided to move in together, and they still hadn't been able to find a place. The realtor had proved to be less than useless, and after not being able to contact her for two weeks, Morgan threw his hands up in anger, and declared that he'd find their home himself. It wasn't like he was new to home-buying or the housing market.

His little princess was almost a year and a half now, and Morgan wanted to give her a cozy home and a front yard to play in. Emily had been very enthusiastic for the first several months of searching, but the last couple months she seemed to have checked out. And not just on the home search, on about everything. It was worrying Morgan.

It started with exhaustion from the struggle to wean Addy off breastfeeding, and that slid right into aggravation and disappointment of not being able to find a place. But it was the appointment two months ago with Addy's pediatrician that really seemed to make her shut off. Guilt was plaguing her, and pulling her away from him. And, it was getting worse every damn day.

His beautiful little girl didn't talk. She sometimes babbled and talked to herself in nonsense, but she hadn't formed a single identifiable word yet. Addy was 17 months old, and should have a small vocabulary by now according to all the books. She should at least be saying 'Mama' and 'Dada'. But Addy didn't talk.

The pediatrician had told them not to worry yet, that all children develop differently. Yes, typically most have a few words in their vocabularies at Addy's age, but not all children hit the milestones the same way. He said that some children don't talk for a long time, and then suddenly start spouting words like they can't stop. Yes, he agreed at Emily's questioning, it's possible the lack of prenatal care and proper diet, rest, etc, could have affected her development, but he stressed, he wasn't prepared to say that yet.

The kind doctor tried to reassure them, and said if Addy still hadn't said a word by 18 months, that he'd refer them to a developmental specialist.

That was a month away, and Morgan knew as upsetting and stressful as he found that looming deadline, Emily felt it even worse. She blamed herself for whatever developmental problem Addy might have, and he could almost see the guilt literally weighing on her. Derek tried to tell her it wasn't her fault, but she only waved him off. She would never forgive herself for not realizing she was pregnant, and for not taking care of her unborn child.

In the last two weeks, she'd all but completely shutdown. She barely spoke to him, or even let him touch her. They hadn't had sex in three weeks, and he hadn't even kissed her on the mouth in days. He was with her everyday and yet he missed her terribly.

His family was falling apart.

* * *

><p>Emily decided her hair was fine as it was, and hurried to grab her bag and sling it over her shoulder, Addy quiet now in her other arm. She had been extremely clingy since they weaned her off breastfeeding four months ago. And, it was always worse when Emily got back from being away on a case. Frankly, it was becoming a little overwhelming, but considering it was her fault Addy couldn't or wouldn't talk, Emily couldn't deny her daughter the simple pleasure of being in her mother's arms.<p>

She knew Morgan went through hell with Addy when she was gone, and that he never complained about it. And that made it even harder than it already was to keep her distance, but she just couldn't be around him right now. She was struggling to make sense of too many things, to deal with too much to give him the attention he deserved. Emily really just couldn't handle being touched by him, even though part of her desperately wanted to feel his strong arms wrapped around her, pressing her into his body.

When Derek tried to take her hand in the car, she pulled it away, and ignored the sigh he released. He didn't ask her about it though, but moved his hand back to the steering wheel. The ride to Quantico was silent, except for Addy's nonsense babbling. All her baby girl could do was babble, and Emily knew it was all her fault.

They dropped Addy at daycare, and headed their separate ways in the Bureau building. Emily dropped her bag at her desk, offered a tired smile in response to Reid's, and headed to the break room for coffee. She only made it half way, before her stomach turned over, and she changed her mind. Instead, she grabbed a cold bottle of water, and headed back to her desk for a couple hours of paper work.

JJ stopped by her desk just before ten, smiling and slipping her phone back in her pocket. "You guys ready?" She asked.

"Sure. Do we have a case?" Emily asked. They'd only gotten back yesterday morning, if they left again so soon, Addy would scream all night and not allow Morgan even a wink of sleep.

"Nope, just house-keeping today. Don't worry, you don't have to leave Addy again yet." JJ offered her a reassuring smile.

"Thanks," Emily said, grabbing her note pad, and following JJ to the conference room.

She sat down heavily, and bit her lip against another wave of nausea. Garcia sat beside her, eyeing her skeptically. "You okay, kitten?"

"Yeah, just tired," Emily said.

"How's the munchkin, and my delightful slice of chocolate heaven?" She grinned.

"Addy's still clingy, and Derek is…good." She honestly didn't know how he was, or what he was feeling, though she'd bet he was tired.

"No sign of a real word still, huh?"

Emily shook her head. "Not yet."

Garcia took her hand. "Don't worry, Emily. Addy is just taking her time, the little diva already likes making us wait."

"I hope so."

"She's reached all her other milestones, hasn't she?" Reid asked.

"Yeah, the doctor said she's doing great otherwise."

"I wouldn't worry," he said. "The milestones published in books and online are just what's typical of a particular age group, that doesn't mean all children progress at that speed. Addy has no hearing loss, acknowledges instructions, can identify some things when you ask, and probably most importantly, she's engaged with other people. That's a pretty clear sign that you at least don't have to worry about autism."

"I know, still worry though. Thanks, Reid." She appreciated their attempts to try and make her feel better, but there was nothing that was going to make her feel better. Not now.

She just had too much on her mind, too many worries to feel better about anything.

At least Addy was a distraction from the other big worry on her mind. The worry that had been plaguing her for weeks, and frankly, scared the hell out of her.

* * *

><p>By late afternoon, Morgan could no longer focus on work, and found himself walking to Garcia's lair. A couple months ago, he'd have gone to the bullpen to flirt with his girl, but she wouldn't be receptive to that now. He knocked on the door before entering, and then slid into the extra chair the tech sometimes had around (and was usually an indication that Kevin had been around), his head coming to rest in his hands.<p>

"Hey handsome, what's wrong?"

Morgan looked up. "I honest to god don't know."

Her mouth opened, but she didn't speak at first. She rolled her chair closer, and took his hand, then spoke. "Talk to me."

"I'm still trying to find us a house, I haven't been that wowed by anything yet." He started with the easy part of the conversation.

"Are you sure you guys aren't just being uber picky, or getting cold feet maybe?"

He shook his head. "No, it's not either of those things. I actually saw one house I really liked, but it's too big for us, three bedrooms and a little bed and bath suite that was originally built as servants quarters."

Garcia looked impressed. "Sounds nice, also sounds a little expensive for two public servants. How far in the boonies is this place?"

He smiled. "It's in Alexandria, actually, and it's affordable because it needs a little TLC."

"Well, in that case, too big or not, you might want to think about it. You'll want a guest bedroom anyway, and if you really want to make Emily happy, turn the other extra bedroom into a library."

Morgan nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Okay…what else is going on?"

"I think…I think it might be unnecessary anyway," he said.

"What do you mean? You guys have been desperate to find a house." She pushed her glasses up on her nose, and fixed him with a purposeful look.

Finally faced with admitting his fears from the last few weeks, Morgan's mouth turned to sandpaper and his throat grew thick with emotion. "I think Emily wants to end it."

"What!" Garcia gaped at him. "How? Why? What do you mean?"

"I mean, I think she's going to break-up with me."

"But why?"

He shrugged. "She's shutting down on me. This thing with Addy…I can almost feel the guilt around her like a tangible thing. And, I don't know, it's just getting worse. I feel like there's more to it, but she barely talks to me, and she won't even let me touch her."

"How long has this been going on?" Penelope looked as devastated as he felt.

"She's been totally ignoring me for about two and a half weeks, before then it was tense and things were hard, but I felt like she still—" He paused, searching for the words. "Like she was still with me."

"Oh honey, maybe she just needs more time to work out this guilt over Addy."

He shook his head. "It's more than that, baby-girl. I don't know what it is that's gotten to her, but she's shutdown, and she's going to end it soon." His stomach clenching painfully, and tears pricking his eyes, Morgan inhaled a shaky breath, refusing to let his tears fall. "I don't know what I'll do without them, babygirl."

* * *

><p>"She's getting so big already. Doesn't it kind of knock you back when you realize they're starting to look more like a kid than a baby?" JJ was leaning up against Emily's desk, the profiler's cell phone in her hand, flipping through the newest pictures of Addy.<p>

"Yeah, I remember thinking that when you'd bring in pictures of Henry. Addy isn't quite there yet, but you can really see it coming, can't you?" Her little baby was growing so fast, it was hard for Emily to even catch her breath.

JJ smiled and squeezed her shoulder. "Don't worry, there's new challenges ahead, but I wouldn't say they make you any crazier than the ones you've already gone through."

"Oh thanks, that's comforting."

"Hey, hey, what's going on?" Garcia asked, swooping in, looking slightly twitchy in a style that wasn't her usual hyperactive bubbly.

"Looking at pictures of Addy."

"Ooh!" Garcia snatched the phone, and starting examining them. "God Em, this little girl is looking more and more like you everyday. I know I've never laid eyes on your ex, but I don't see anyone but you in her."

"That's what Derek says, I think it's a relief for him." He didn't want any reminders that Addy wasn't biologically his.

"What about you, do you see any of your ex in Addy?" JJ asked.

Emily thought about that. "Every now and again, but not much. I must have super-strong genes or something." She looked over to Reid's desk, and the empty area reminded her that he'd already headed home. The one time she was going to willingly ask him for information, and he wasn't there. Damn.

"Well, they make for one cute kid." Garcia handed her back the phone, her twitchiness returning.

"Something on your mind?" Emily asked her.

Garcia bit her lip. "I need a minute with you in private."

Her eyebrows rose and she glanced at JJ. Garcia followed her eyes. "Well, this is about something someone else told me in confidence, and I'm kind of already breaking it with you, so as much as I trust and love Jayje, I'd rather talk to just you."

JJ shrugged. "I need to pick up Henry and get home anyway. Will has a late shift tonight, so it's just me and the little man."

"Give him a kiss for me," Garcia said.

"Will do." JJ smiled and headed out.

Emily and Garcia headed into the conference room, away from the other agents still hanging around to finish paperwork or whatever. Emily faced the tech. "So?"

"What's going on with you and Derek?"

She immediately tensed, and tried to resist going defensive. "I know he confides in you as a friend, Pen, but that's really between us."

"I know, and I get that, I really do, but he came to talk today, and he was really upset and scared. And, I think you need to talk to him."

Emily bit her lip, and glanced at the ground. "Scared?"

It was Garcia's turn to look uncomfortable. "Uhh…I don't want to break his confidence, but he uh…" The tech struggled to think of a way to phrase what she needed to, but quickly gave up. "Uh damn it, he's afraid you're going to leave him."

"He what?" Emily gaped. Then she thought about it, and of course he was afraid of that. Shit. "Never mind. I should go. Thanks, Pen."

When she got back to her desk, she found Morgan's car keys and a note. He had to take care of something, so he grabbed a Bureau SUV and left. He'd see her at home. Emily snatched the keys, and headed to the base daycare, where she found Addy happy to see her as usual.

At her building, she pulled Addy out of the car, and slung her bag and the diaper bag over her shoulder. She wondered if Derek was in yet. She needed to talk to him, tell him everything. It wasn't like she could hide it forever, but pretending it wasn't happening had been the safer thing for her to do. Telling him meant they'd have to talk about it, that she'd be forced to make a decision, and she didn't think she could do that, either way.

She dropped the bags by the door, and walked down the hall, finding a surprise in the living room. Derek was home already, sitting hunched over on the sofa, looking pretty miserable. She was about to speak when she saw the bag beside him. "You have a case?"

"No." He stood up. "I don't know what's going on with you, Em. I wish you'd talk to me, I wish I could get through to you…" He swallowed and looked away. "Right now, me staying here isn't good for either of us, so I'm going to go, and give you your space."

Emily didn't speak, she couldn't, she was frozen in shock.

"Can I have a minute with Addy?" He asked.

Numbly, she nodded and let him take the baby from her arms. Addy smiled and talked nonsense at her father, giggling when he kissed her. Her short hair was in tiny pigtails that pulled her bangs away from her face, and left her big brown eyes open to the world.

"Hey sweetheart, Daddy isn't going to be around as much for a while. But, I promise I'll come see you as much as I can. Okay?" She didn't really understand though, just smiled and wrapped her little arms around his neck. Morgan's voice cracked. "I love you so much, baby girl."

Emily was almost startled when he passed Addy back to her, and she had to get her head back together to listen to what he was saying.

"I'll pick her up tomorrow, feed her dinner and take her to the park, and drop her back here before bedtime. Is that okay?"

She nodded, still numb and trying to process the sudden change in their lives. That's what everything had been since Addy came into the world: sudden, overwhelming change.

Then Derek was gone, leaving Emily to sink into the couch, the sound of Addy's babbling hallow in her ears. Her stomach roiled with the sudden reappearance of the nausea she'd been fighting all day, and she had to breath in and out through her nose until it went away. When the sob came, it was seemed to surprise them both, such loud, gut-wrenching emotion in the quiet house. Then the tears came in a silent torrent.

Addy looked from her mother breaking down, to the hallway where her father had disappeared, fear in her big brown eyes.

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><p><em>Don't hate me yet, this is a chaptered story! The next chapter may or may not be up next week, it will just depend on how the holiday goes. <em>

_Thanks for reading, and please review!_


	2. Chapter 2

Morgan was in his office the next morning, trying not to stare at the pictures on his desk, and failing miserably. He'd take of sip of coffee, and then try to focus on his paperwork only to find his eyes fixed on the photos that adorned his desk. His baby girl and her mama, the two people in the world he was more and more certain everyday that he couldn't live without.

He hadn't gotten much sleep last night. Worse yet, he'd gotten home and had no idea what to do with himself. He'd picked up a book, but he couldn't concentrate, it was too quiet in his home. He needed Addy's high-pitched babble in the background, or even just Emily's breathing, shifting around as she turned pages. He'd spent the evening watching TV, going from channel to channel without being able to get sucked into anything.

He glanced toward his door, beyond which laid a bullpen, and even further eventually the BAU. He was now seated in the department for task force work, which housed his small team, and those for the two other small task forces that were currently assigned at Quantico. The supervising agents were seated above, much like in the BAU, and their teams were seated below, along with a handful of agents that served as support staff. Morgan liked his work, his new team, and being able to lead, but sometimes he really missed the team.

Knocking drew his attention out of his own head, and to the figure at his door. Emily.

She looked tired, and he wondered if she'd gotten as little sleep as he had. Was it wrong to wish his leaving had hurt her as much as it did him? He waved her in, standing about to move to meet her, but she held a hand up.

"I need to get this out, and if I get too close I might just lose it in your office," she said.

He nodded, and stayed behind his desk, but didn't sit. "Okay…is Addy okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, she was a little fussy last night, but she was good this morning. She'll be happy to see you later."

"So will I."

Emily stood in front of his desk, looking more unsure and nervous than he'd ever seen her look before. "I need to tell you," she started, only to stop. "I—" She stopped again, ran her tongue over her top lip, and tried again. "I love you, and I don't want you to go."

He sighed, and hung his head. "This isn't about love, Princess. I think we both know that."

"Yeah, yeah I know, I just needed to make sure you know how I feel."

"It's good to hear, and I hope you already know I feel the same, I love you, and nothing in this world is more important to me than you and Addy. I just need you to talk to me."

She nodded. "I'm sorry I screwed everything up, I just—" her voice cracked and she looked away. "I'm just really scared right now."

Morgan felt the ache in his stomach swell to a burning, and struggled to swallow, as he walked around the desk. He stood next to her. "Please, just tell me what's going on."

She met his eyes, hers shining with tears. "I'm pregnant."

He'd had no idea what to expect, but even if he'd had time to make a list, that would not have been not on it. He sank into one of the chairs that sat in front of his desk, Emily doing similarly beside him. "How long?"

Emily wiped the moisture from her eyes. "Uh, I started to suspect about three weeks ago, then I took a home test, and went to see my doctor. I've known for sure for about two weeks."

"Do you know how far you are? This isn't like with Addy, is it?" God, could they handle a toddler and a newborn at the same time?

"No, it's not, and no, I'm not sure how far; I didn't have the doctor check anything."

He frowned. "Why wouldn't you…" The question fell from his mouth as realization hit. "You don't want it."

She didn't answer, but her eyes began to well up again, and she looked away.

Morgan was floored for the second time in two minutes.

Emily didn't want this baby. _Their_ baby.

"You want to have an abortion?" He demanded.

"I don't know."

"What the hell does that mean? You either don't want our baby or you do?"

"It's not that simple—" She started, but he cut her off, ignoring the tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Exactly what part isn't simple? You're carrying our child, and you clearly would rather not be," he said, his voice growing even louder. "What the hell is so complicated about that!"

"Don't yell at me, damn it. Let me explain!"

"Explain what!"

She was now openly crying, eyes red, tears streaming down her face. "I don't even know if I could go through with it if I tried—"

He cut her off again. "Why not? You've done it before!"

Her mouth fell open, and she seemed at a loss for words. He expected her to lash out at him, to scream back; Emily Prentiss didn't take anything lying down. Except she didn't. Her eyes filled with raw, vivid pain, and she abruptly turned and left.

Morgan instantly hated himself.

* * *

><p>Hotch walked into the task force bullpen with the intent of visiting his friend and former teammate, and getting his thoughts on a case. It could be an HSK, but Hotch wasn't sure, he wanted the younger man's thoughts, considering this was now his territory. When he neared Morgan's team, he found them staring up worriedly at their unit chief's office. The yelling he heard when he got closer told him why.<p>

He could hear two familiar voices, though Morgan was doing the bulk of the yelling, and Hotch was at a loss. He couldn't imagine Morgan yelling at _any_ girlfriend, let alone Prentiss.

One of the guys on the team, Josh Carver, if Hotch remembered correctly, glanced at his partner, Angie Walsh, and they shared a look. Carver then looked at Hotch. "We don't like it when Mom and Dad fight."

The Unit Chief's eyebrows rose skeptically. "Are you telling me that's common?" He pointed to the office.

"Hell no. Morgan adores that woman, I've never heard him raise his voice to her, or vice versa."

Hotch nodded. That was at least comforting.

"You heard anything on the gossip mill, Ang?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, I haven't, and whatever is going on isn't really our business."

"How long have they been at it?" Hotch asked.

"You walked in just as the yelling started." Manny Juarez was an ex-military tough guy, but had a surprising reputation for being very good with victims. According to Morgan he was much more serious than the other two as well. Walsh and Carver seemed to feed on each other's teasing, while Juarez was content with a job well done.

He was about to speak again when Prentiss came out of the office, marched quickly down the stairs, and turned when she felt eyes on her. Hotch was taken aback to see tears still falling from her red, swollen eyes. She met his eyes, and then turned quickly away and disappeared on the other side of the glass doors.

When the shock of seeing her so distraught wore off, Hotch headed to Morgan's office, not entirely surprised to see him hunched over with his head in his hands. He looked defeated, exhausted, and absolutely miserable.

"If you guys are going to wage World War III you might want to consider saving the skirmishes for home. It affords more privacy."

He looked up. "Not the best time, Hotch."

"Prentiss was sobbing." It was a short statement, but it bore explanation and question with in it.

"Things are a bit fucked up right now."

"Addy?" He tensed at the thought of the little girl.

"She's fine. I haven't actually seen her since yesterday, but Em says she was fine this morning. I think she's the only one of us who is."

He relaxed, at least there wasn't anything wrong with the baby. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Whatever the hell _it _was.

"No, I don't…Did you need something?"

* * *

><p>Reid was walking back to the BAU with box of sticky note pads when he literally ran into Emily. She was walking quickly, her eyes to the ground, and just about gasped when they hit. He took in her appearance, the tears pouring out of her eyes, and immediately became worried. "Emily? What's wrong?"<p>

Had he _ever_ seen her cry?

She shook her head, and tried to get away, but Reid stopped her, knowing he was probably risking life or limb. "I'm fine, let me go."

"You're upset—"

"Did it take all 178 IQ points to make that assessment?" She snapped. Then immediately deflated. "I'm sorry, Reid, I just can't do this right now."

He looked at their surroundings, consulted his mental map of the building, and kept his hand on her arm as he guided her back the way he'd come from, the direction she was actually headed in.

"Where are we going?" The tears were beginning to let up.

"Somewhere quiet."

They reached a seldom used A/V room, and he pulled her inside. The equipment was turned off and the room was dark, but it was very quiet, and much more private than the hallways of Quantico. "What happened? Is Addy alright?"

"She's fine. I just had a fight with Derek."

He frowned, that didn't make sense. A stupid fight upset her that much? Emily was one of the toughest people he knew, how could a fight with her boyfriend upset her this much? "It must have been a bad fight," he said.

She nodded. "Yeah, it was."

Reid watched her unsure of what to do, but pretty sure she didn't really want to talk. Shyly, and rather unsure about it, he stepped close to his close friend, and enveloped her in a hug. She was tense at first, but after a minute, relaxed into his arms. The tears had stopped completely, but he could feel her fingers pressing into his skin as she gripped his shirt.

Though it wasn't his strong suit, Reid tried to be comforting, stroking her hair, and whispering that it would be okay. It was a bit of role reversal for them, usually she was the one comforting, and he was the one upset. Emily could keep her cool like nobody he'd ever seen. For her to lose it at work, well, he was a little afraid his friends had called it quits.

But he didn't question her, that wasn't really his place.

* * *

><p>After clinging to Reid like a desperate lost child, Emily had cleaned herself up in the bathroom, and made it back to her desk. She was only mildly embarrassed when Hotch stopped by her desk, and checked if she was okay. She'd almost forgotten he'd seen her come out of Derek's office in a mess. Emily told him she was fine, but Hotch still looked concerned.<p>

She kept her eyes on her computer until lunch, when Derek showed up, looking contrite and about as miserable as she felt. Without a word, she got up and followed him out. Reid was already gone, having made a lunch date with a young agent in the white collar division. He'd offered to reschedule if she wanted company, but she'd insisted that he go, telling him that he could cheer up her with the details later.

They got to the car, and just sat there for several minutes, neither speaking. Derek made to turn the key, but his hand dropped and he turned to her. "I'm sorry, Emily. I was angry and I didn't mean that."

"Do you have any idea how hard it was to make that decision? If you're going to hold that against me then, Derek, this just isn't going to work between us." Her stomach ached at the thought, but she said it anyway.

"I'm not, and I don't, and I'm sorry I made you think that. I don't know what I would have done in that situation when I was a kid, but I probably would have wanted to do the same."

Startled by that admission, she looked up to meet his eyes, and then nodded, trying to keep the emotion at bay.

"I was just so angry, Em. I'm still angry. Our baby. You tell me you're carrying our child, and then you tell me you don't want it? I know things aren't ideal right now, but this is our child." His voice was pained, and she understood that feeling better than he gave her credit for.

"You never let me explain. I told you I wasn't sure I could even go through with an abortion, and I meant that. This isn't some mistake I made with some guy I was seeing, this is our baby, a child we made together. And, I love you, and I'm trying so hard not to fall in love with this baby, but it already hurts like hell to think about not having it." She inhaled, sniffling.

"Then why…?"

"Because…because I'm scared to death." She inhaled and blew out slowly. "Derek, think about. I'm 41 now, I'll be 42 when I have the baby. The chances of genetic disorders, birth defects, pre-term labor, complications of every variety, it all goes up. I'm sure you can get statistics from Reid. Even maternal and infant mortality rates increase the older you get. I read about it all, and I really didn't need to, because now it's all I can think about."

He took her hand. "You are healthy, you got pregnant naturally, I think that it's in your favor to have a healthy child. Besides, I think Addy is living proof that your body can produce a healthy child, even under less than ideal circumstances."

"Do you realize how lucky I got with Addy? She's the exception, Derek, not the rule. And, I'm not just worried about actually being able to bring the baby to term, I'm worried about every other problem under the sun as well. Addy doesn't talk. Next month we'll probably be at a specialist trying to figure out why, and whatever it is, there's a good chance it's my fault. How can I carry this baby, knowing it's my fault that our daughter can't talk?" She breathed, trying to keep all the emotion she was feeling from welling up and swallowing her.

"Alright, first of all, we don't know that Addy can't talk. She babbles, that's a good sign, remember. Second of all, even if it stems from something in utero, it's still not your fault. You didn't know, you can't keep blaming yourself when you didn't know you were even pregnant."

"What if she only babbles because she can't make sense out of the sounds of the words? Or because she understands the words, but can't translate them into sounds? There could be something wrong with her brain, Derek."

He sighed. "So? What if there is? She'll have special needs, be a little different than other kids, but it won't change how I feel about her. Will if for you?"

"God, of course not. But, I want my daughter to get to be normal, to have a couple of best friends that are with her from kindergarten through high school graduation, to date boys that you'll intimidate the hell out of, and go to college and be happy. I don't want her to have a lifetime of people staring and kids snickering."

Morgan tightened his grip on her hand. "I know, I want the same things, I want her to have everything, and I worry about it too."

She nodded. "Can we handle two kids, if one has special needs? With our work can we give them both the attention they need? And God, Derek, what if this baby has Down's Syndrome or something? Can we handle _two_ kids with special needs? One of us will have to quit working, or we'll have to hire someone. Could you do that, give up your job?"

Morgan ran a hand over his head, and looked off toward the parking lot. He exhaled loudly, and glanced at the clock. "I don't know."

"Me neither." Then she snorted. "God, I'm a terrible mother, I don't even know if I could quit my job to take care of my disabled kids."

"You aren't a terrible mother. I don't know either, does that make me a terrible, father?"

"Of course not," she insisted.

"There you go." When she failed to look convinced he sighed. "Alright, well while we do both have jobs, we only have an hour for lunch, and you need to eat. What do you want to eat?"

"Honestly, I'm not really hungry."

He gave her a pointed look. "You're pregnant. Regardless of what we decide to do, right now, you are pregnant, and you need to put something in your stomach."

Emily stared at her hands. He was right. "I look like a wreck, so anything we can get and eat in the car."

He nodded, and started the car. As he began to pull out of the lot, Emily released the grip her front teeth had on her bottom lip, and spoke. Her voice was high and shaky, nothing like usual. "Derek…" She started and then stopped, looking away out the window, and then down at her hands, before starting again. "Derek, if I don't have the baby…could you ever forgive me?"

He only sighed.

* * *

><p><em>Once again, don't hate me yet. There's still a couple more chapters in this story. Thank you everyone who reviewed the first chapter, it was much appreciated. And, thank you for reading this one.<em>

_So Morgan's team, I think that's it for them for this story, but they'll appear again throughout this series, so I hope you all liked what you saw of them._

_I'm going to start posting info on updates in my profile (not tonight though, cause I barely have time to post this), so check that in a couple days.  
><em>

_Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and sorry this took so long to get up. I detoured to work on some Prentiss/Doyle fics, which were in higher demand, and then got caught up in school work. Last exam Monday, thank god. I'm fried._

* * *

><p>Hotch was worried. No, he was more than worried, he was contemplating marching back to Morgan's office and asking him what the hell he did to his girlfriend. He might have by now, except the last time he went in, Morgan had looked about as miserable as Prentiss. Clearly, it wasn't as simple as something he'd done to upset her. But of course, for Prentiss to be in her current state, it would have to be practically cataclysmic.<p>

He was thinking of every moment he'd ever seen her vulnerable, and nothing had put her even remotely in this state. She probably came closest when her friend died a couple years back, but she'd still kept herself together. Unlike today. She'd come back from lunch with red eyes. She'd left with Morgan, but he hadn't come back with her, which wasn't terribly unusual, but she'd clearly cried through part of lunch. Just like she'd left his office this morning in a storm of tears and pain.

Hotch sighed, and opened his office door, walking down the steps and toward her desk. Reid was trying to focus on his own work, but was shooting worried glances at her every so often. Prentiss appeared engaged in a file, though he'd bet she had no idea what she was reading. She also looked completely exhausted, drained even. He bent down and spoke quietly, close to her ear, so only she could hear.

"I don't know what's going on with you and Morgan, but it clearly has you very upset. Go home, get some rest, and work it out, come back fresh tomorrow when you can concentrate."

She looked at him in surprise. "No Hotch, I'm fine, I just—"

"Go home," he cut her off. "I've never seen you this upset, Prentiss. Something is clearly tearing you up…" He hesitated, but asked what he was afraid to. "Have you and Morgan split up?"

She didn't react with the righteous fury he'd wanted, but with a self-deprecating laugh through her nose. "Not yet."

"Go home, Prentiss. And let me know if you need anything, even more time off."

She nodded. "Thanks."

He walked back up the stairs, turning momentarily to watch her exit through the glass doors, before heading into Dave's office. "Have you spoken to Prentiss today at all?"

The older profiler looked up from his paperwork. "Not really, though I did notice that she looks like hell. I figured it was better to let her be, you know how important it is for her to be able to hold herself together. Why? Do you know what's going on?"

Hotch shook his head. "Something with Morgan."

"Have you asked JJ or Garcia? She's most likely to tell them, after Morgan obviously."

"I don't want to pry. It's their personal lives, their business."

Dave studied him, that soft, knowing smile of his appearing. "But, you're worried about her."

He didn't answer immediately. "They were yelling at each other in his office this morning, and then she flew out, still sobbing."

"That is troubling…have you talked to Morgan?"

"He said things were messed up now, but Addy is fine."

Dave released a breath. "Well, thank god for that at least."

The two men were silent for several minutes, until Hotch finally spoke. "Dave, if they break up it's going to tear the team apart."

"Then I guess we better hope they get it together."

It was not the helpful words of wisdom Hotch was hoping for, but then really, what could they do?

* * *

><p>Morgan stumbled tiredly through the front door, dreading the discussion they'd started twice and never quite finished. Emily had called him earlier to let him know that Hotch had sent her home, so she was picking up the baby on her way. Then she'd asked him to please come home. He left an hour early, ignoring his team's worried looks as he walked out of their bullpen.<p>

The house was dark. Morgan dropped his go bag, and after glancing at the living room and kitchen, headed up the stairs. He peeked into the nursery to find no sign of Addy, and his heart jumped into his throat. Swallowing, he made for the master bedroom, and found Emily asleep on her side of the bed. The comforter was pulled up, and when he walked closer, he found another, smaller brunette head peeping out from underneath it.

He stood there and stared at them for several minutes, feeling his stomach twist and turn itself into Gordian-style knots at the thought of not having them in his life. He didn't plan it, he didn't consciously go after it, not at first, but this was his life, _they_ were his life, and he could no longer imagine it being any other way. He'd never answered Emily's question, because he just didn't know.

With a heavy, emotion-laden sigh, Morgan sunk onto the bed beside Emily, and ran a hand gently over her head. She shifted slightly, waking up at his touch, opening her dark eyes, and looking at him with such a look of exhaustion and sorrow he almost had to look away.

Emily glanced at Addy, and pushed herself up in the bed, nodding him toward the door. She positioned pillows around the baby, and walked out to meet him. "Hey, you got off early."

"Yeah, I wanted to have enough time to talk."

She nodded. "Let's go into the second bedroom, I want to be able to hear Addy when she wakes up."

"Is she okay?" She usually didn't nap once they brought her home. Generally dinner, a little playing and off to bed.

"Yeah, she just didn't want to nap on her own, and I was too exhausted to stay up and watch her, so I brought her to bed with me."

He nodded. "So…"

"Yeah, so…"

"I just…I just don't get how you can look at Addy, and even think about having an abortion."

She ran her tongue over her top lip. "Because I look at Addy, and I see a little girl who doesn't talk, not in words. And I know, odds are it's because of something I did or didn't do when I was pregnant." Her eyes pricked with moisture, and she sniffled. "I'm scared that I hurt Addy by not getting prenatal care, and I'm scared I've already hurt this baby just by being too old for this, and I'm scared I'll hurt this baby while carrying it, and I'm scared I can't handle being a mother to a special needs child or two."

Derek sighed. "Emily, I know I will never be able to convince you not to blame yourself for whatever may or may not be wrong with our daughter. Just like I know, I will never convince you that just because you're 41 doesn't mean our child won't be healthy. But, there are two things I can promise you. You are not in this alone, and Emily, we can do this, together."

"What makes you so damn sure?" Her words weren't angry, more desperate as she searched his eyes, pleadingly.

Morgan dropped onto the seldom-used bed, and pulled her down next to him. "There is this little thing called prenatal care, we keep on top of that, and this baby will be fine while it's growing inside you. We'll read all the books," he paused and leaned close, "Or maybe have Reid read them and give us the cliff's notes version." He felt a tiny bit of relief at the smile on her face.

"Are you going to ask him for book reports?"

He chuckled. "That's not a bad idea." He squeezed her hand, and continued with the plan he'd been thinking about all day. "If this baby is diagnosed with something we read the books on that too, and if Addy is…" He swallowed, his emotions catching in his throat. "Well, we'll read all the books on that too."

Emily suddenly brought a hand up, and stroked his face. "It's killing you to think something might be wrong with her, isn't it?"

"She's my little girl, I want her to have the best of life and protect her from everything."

"Well as painful as that is, consider if this is a boy, Derek."

He frowned. "I don't follow."

"What if this baby is a boy, our son, _your_ son, and he has Down's Syndrome or some other chromosomal abnormality?"

"Are you suggesting I'd favor a boy?"

Emily released a breath of frustration, and he was still at a loss. "No. I'm saying that you would want to do everything with your son that you never got the chance to do with your father."

He nodded. "Yeah, I would. But, a genetic or birth defect wouldn't necessarily preclude that."

"Many of them wouldn't completely, but even if you still could it wouldn't be the same. You could toss a football around, but you'd never watch him play on a team. You could take him to work on houses with you, but you wouldn't really be able to teach him how to put up molding. You wouldn't get teach him the right way to treat his girlfriends, or maybe even how to ride a bike. You wouldn't get to have the relationship you missed on with your father, the relationship that bastard Buford offered you and then corrupted. Could you live with that? Because honestly, the thought of spending the next 18 years watching your heart break a little every time you look at our son is killing me."

Derek swallowed. "It would be hard, and it would hurt, but he'd still be my son."

Emily sniffled. "So to you, would it be more painful to watch our child grow up, and never have that sort of relationship, or to end it's life before it gets the chance to begin?"

He thought about that. He actually took a moment with both of them sitting in strained silence and considered that question, as he knew she wanted. He'd fallen hard for the woman sitting beside him, holding his hand, and he'd fallen without even realizing the ground disappeared before it hit him in the face. And now, that woman held their baby in her womb. He'd made love to her and put that baby inside her. It was exhilarating and terrifying all at once.

That baby was their child, a life they created together, Addy's little brother or sister.

He nodded slowly. "The latter. To know that I could have had the chance, but never be able to hold my child…that will always be more painful."

She nodded, tears collecting in the corners of her eyes, and waved him toward herself, slowly wrapping her arms around him, and resting her head on his shoulder. Morgan held her, stroking her back, sensing they'd reached a turning point, but not certain what it was exactly. As he felt her breath hit warm on his neck, he had a sudden realization and abruptly pulled back. He began to search her eyes, looking for confirmation for his epiphany.

He found it. "You wanted this baby all along, didn't you?"

She nodded. "I told you, this baby isn't a mistake. I'm just scared I can't handle it."

He leaned in and kissed her then, deep and passionate, and then pulled her back against his body. He let one hand travel down to her stomach, and rest there over her blouse. There was no way to really feel the baby yet, but he wanted to try anyway. He pulled her shirt out of her pants, and rested his hand against the bare skin of her belly. Their child was right there under his fingertips, safe in Emily's body.

Emily rested her hand over his, and sighed against his neck, pressing her lips to his skin. Morgan leaned his head against hers, his lips brushing her hair. They sat there, holding each other in Emily's spare bedroom until a gurgling cry reminded them that they had another baby to think about.

* * *

><p>The next morning Morgan went to his office, called his team in early for their briefing, and then headed over to the BAU in time to make it to the end of their briefing. Last night, he and Emily had spent a long time talking, and decided they would tell the team as soon as possible. But just the team for now.<p>

With everything going on, they needed the support of their family, and the team would need to know why Emily couldn't be in the field anyway. It was one thing that to Morgan, wasn't up for argument. As much as Emily hated the idea of being out of the field for months, she conceded almost immediately. She was going to do everything right for this baby, probably to the point of making them both crazy.

But the risk of miscarriage was fairly high, and there was so much emotional baggage attached to the pregnancy that they weren't ready to share it with the world. They couldn't handle discussing it with their mothers or his sisters yet, not until they were more grounded about it themselves. And if Emily lost the baby…it was just easier to keep it quiet for a while longer.

He climbed up the steps and peaked into the conference, noting the tell-tale signs that they had finished their work. He quickly knocked on the glass door, and pushed it open, nodding quickly at Hotch and searching out Emily. She was already pushing away from the table, having expected him to drop in. She turned to the Unit Chief. "We're done, right?"

He nodded.

Morgan turned to the group. "We just need a minute before you all get back to work."

Emily stood beside him and he took her hand, feeling a bit more like they were facing a firing squad than announcing a pregnancy. Garcia was glancing between them, looking almost frightened. Reid was more focused on Emily, Hotch was frowning more deeply than usual, and JJ and Rossi just looked lost.

Emily found her tongue first. "We aren't making this public knowledge yet, but we wanted you all to know now. I'm uh, I'm pregnant."

The stunned silence was broken by an eardrum shattering squeal from Garcia, who practically leapt from her seat and threw her arms around Emily.

"Oh my god, I'm so happy for you guys! And, I'm so, so ecstatic that someone is finally making good use of his swimmers!"

"Oh god, Garcia," JJ admonished. "Really?"

The tech looked at her. "What? Can you imagine how gorgeous this kid is going to be? Screw Brangelina babies, Demily munchkins are going to be way cuter."

"Demily?" Reid asked.

"Did you just say munchkins? As in plural?" Rossi said, first looking at her, then at Morgan and Emily.

Morgan waved a hand. "It's just one—" He froze and looked at Emily. "It is just one right?"

She snorted. "It sure as hell better be."

"Demily?" Reid asked again, helplessly.

Garcia finally turned to him. "Yes, Boy Genius, Demily. Ooh, maybe I'll refer to you guys that way now."

"No, no you won't," Emily told her pointedly.

Garcia wasn't bothered, though she looked like she might literally explode. "Oh my god, I'm so excited! You're having a baby together! How many are you planning on?"

Morgan blinked and tried to process that question. "We're weren't really planning at all, so just this one."

She deflated slightly. "Really? But, Addy is so cute, and this one is bound to be even cuter with Derek's DNA in the mix, how can you not want to replicate that over and over again?"

"Because I'm 41," Emily said.

"Give them a break, Pen," JJ said, getting up and tugging the tech back slightly.

She frowned and looked disappointed. "Alright, but at least telling me, are you hoping for a boy or a girl?"

"Either," He said, the same time Emily said, "Boy."

He turned to her, recalling their conversation from the previous night, and asked, "What?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "We already have a girl."

* * *

><p>Emily was at her desk late that night, trying to get back on track after accomplishing almost nothing yesterday. Today though, she had been able to focus much better, and lunch with Derek didn't involve any tears. They'd spent the better part of last night talking, and then she'd spent the night in his arms, seeking the comfort she'd denied herself for weeks. Having everything out in the open, dealing with it together was much better than suffering through it alone.<p>

The guilt was still eating away at her, the fear was ever present, but she wasn't alone. Not this time. Derek Morgan was the third man to get her pregnant. He was also the first to open his arms and pull her close, rather than simply push her away. With Johnny, it was a nightmare all the way around, and she couldn't hold it against him. With Max, it was frankly, very fortunate that he did, but she still hated him for lying to her, manipulating her.

"Hey."

She started and turned to see JJ. "Hey, you're still here too?"

"Yeah, got a flood of requests this morning, I just finished sorting through them." She held up a stack of folders, two of which she handed Emily, and two that she stuck on Reid's desk.

Emily shoved them on the bottom of her pile. If either was time-sensitive, JJ would have stuck a note on top, or called them all in to get started. But, the media liaison didn't leave yet.

"So, how have you been feeling?" She asked.

"Alright, I guess. Tired and nauseous, but not bad otherwise." Though, she felt like the morning sickness had been getting worse over the last couple weeks.

JJ nodded. "And, how are you feeling about a second child?"

That made her freeze, and she looked back at her folder. JJ grabbed the chair from Morgan's old desk, and sat beside her. "Talk to me."

"It's a little overwhelming, but I'm happy."

JJ looked dubious. "Really, because you and Derek didn't seem so thrilled, and yesterday both Hotch and Reid stopped by my office asking if you mentioned any problems to me recently. I was told there was yelling, and Reid was pretty upset to find you practically hysterical in the hallway."

"I wasn't hysterical. I was just crying," she insisted.

"Well Emily, for you, crying may as well be hysteria. I don't think any of us have ever seen you cry, except for the day you had Addy."

Emily sighed. "Derek and I are fine, Jayje. Really. It was rough for a bit, but that's on me, and we sorted it out. We both want the baby, it's just a little stressful right now. You know I'm not that young anymore, and with Addy, it's a lot to be worried about, for both of her and the baby."

"What does Derek say?"

"That we can handle it together, even if both kids have special needs. I want to believe him, but…easier said than done."

JJ nodded. "They tell you about the hormones, the cravings, and the puking, but no one ever thinks to mention the number pregnancy does on your nerves."

Emily smirked. "And _you _couldn't have warned me?"

"Well, maybe I would have if you would have told me that you planned on getting pregnant."

"Yeah, apparently we don't plan this sort of thing in the BAU. Except Hotch."

JJ chuckled. "Oh, but I guarantee you the planning was all Haley, Hotch just did as told, when told."

Emily laughed at that, and then looked at her friend. "Thank you. I think that's the first time I've felt free from tension in a month."

The liaison nodded. "You know if you need to talk you can always call, or stop by, right?"

"I do, thank you."

JJ nodded, and then she chuckled.

"What?" Emily eyed her warily.

With a wry grin, she said, "You got knocked-up by Derek Morgan."

Emily smiled. "Yep."

* * *

><p>Morgan stepped into the BAU bullpen, his former second home, and glanced toward Emily's desk. There was an open file in front of her, but she was turned away, talking to JJ. She was smiling, looking the closest he'd seen her to relaxed in ages. He decided to let her be a while longer, and headed up to Hotch's office. He needed to talk to his friend and former boss anyway. He gently knocked on the doorway, and poked his head in.<p>

Hotch glanced up, and waved him in. "How is everything?"

Morgan fell into one of the chairs in front of the desk, and sighed. "Stressful, but good. This was completely unexpected for us, and it kind of threw us for a loop, you know?"

He nodded. "I gathered that from yesterday."

Morgan glanced as his hands. "I don't know how much you heard, but we don't normally fight like that, and we definitely don't fight at work."

"I'm glad. I was a bit concerned seeing how upset you both were…it was all about the baby?"

"Yeah, I know that sounds awful, Hotch, but it's just, we didn't expect this, or plan this, and with what's going on with Addy, Emily's really freaked, and it…it's just hard."

With a glance at the picture on his desk, Hotch said, "When Jack was a toddler, we had to take him to hospital, he'd been sick. Actually Haley took him, I had work, but it was terrifying to wonder what was wrong with him."

"Yeah, now try that with two kids, and a woman who's so guilt-ridden she can't see beyond the negatives."

"She's that bad?"

Morgan gave him a look. "Yes."

"But, you both want the baby?"

"Yes, definitely. We talked it out, we're sure." Morgan grew quiet, then asked, hesitantly, "Hotch, did it scare you?"

"What?"

"You know, when Haley got pregnant. Were you afraid?"

Hotch was silent a moment contemplating. "Yes, I was. We both wanted children very much, and we did plan for Jack, but even so you're never really prepared." He smiled. "I came home from work one night, opened the door, and Haley immediately jumped in my arms. She was so excited she could barely talk. In fact, I don't think she did. She just pulled out the test, and waved it my face. I was floored."

Derek smiled. "But it feels great."

"It does. You're excited then?"

"Honestly Hotch, I think right now I more scared than anything. This is…big."

His eyebrows rose. "You already have a child, shouldn't the second one be easy?"

"It's different, man. You know I love Addy more than anything in this world, but I wasn't the one who made her. You know? She came, and then I chose to be her father. Or I guess it wasn't as much of a choice, as it was knowing it was right. But this? I put a baby inside her, Hotch. Em and I, we created this life together, this tiny, fragile life, and that's a little intimidating. And, and, we've only been seeing each other for about a year…I mean, 18 months ago Emily was my friend and my partner. Now, we've got Addy, we're looking for a house to live in together, and…and _I got her pregnant_."

"Are these changes really only just hitting you?" Hotch asked.

"No, but…I guess this baby thing just brings it all home." He shook his head, feeling the weight of his responsibilities settling heavily onto his shoulders.

"You're a good father, Morgan. And, you and Emily always made a good team."

Morgan looked up at that, and then smiled. "Yeah, we did. We _do_."

* * *

><p><em>One more chapter, which will be sort of epilgoue-ish, and this story is done. Thanks for reading, and please review. And, if anyone wants to suggest baby names, I'm all ears. Either sex. I've already decided what the baby will be, but you'll all have to wait for that story. :)<em>


	4. Chapter 4

Two days after telling the team, Morgan was driving his family home, but instead of turning toward Emily's place, he continued straight. He'd spent a lot of time the last few days thinking this over, crunching numbers in his head, dollar signs, due dates and everything else. Yesterday morning, they'd seen Emily's doctor and learned that she was about eight weeks along.

Because of Emily's history with Addy, the doctor had performed a sonogram, and they'd gotten to see their baby, or at least a little bean-shaped thing that the doctor told them was a baby. Frankly, part of him had been expecting to see a fully, developed baby in her womb. He was glad he'd been wrong. The doctor said it looked healthy, that everything was progressing normally, and that Emily was healthy enough that she was optimistic about the pregnancy. She cautioned them though, that it was considered a high-risk pregnancy due to Emily's age, and Addy's premature arrival. In three weeks, they'd return to the doctor's office for genetic testing.

Tonight though, he wasn't thinking about that. He was thinking about watching his children chase each other around in the backyard, hosting a summertime barbeque for the team to wind down, and cuddling with Emily on the back porch on warm spring nights after the kids went to college. He'd come to a decision last night, one that he felt confident about now, as he steered them toward the surprise he told Emily he had for her.

She sat beside him quietly, resigned to not knowing what they were doing or where they were going. This only after ten minutes of badgering him endlessly for information—the woman could direct a mean interrogation.

"Don't look so annoyed, Em. I told you it was a good surprise," he said.

"And, I told you that I don't like surprises."

He rolled his eyes. They continued on, and he glanced in the rearview where Addy was looking out the window at the falling snow. It was just a light powder, probably wouldn't even stick.

He turned into a residential neighborhood, and parallel parked in front of an old Victorian house. When he took the keys out of the ignition, he turned to Emily. She glanced at him, then out at the house, and back at him.

"Fill me in here, Derek."

He chuckled. "Well see, I took a look at this place a couple weeks ago, and thought it was too big for us. I'm thinking now, that it might just be perfect."

She glanced back at the house, then at him. "_This _house? We can't afford this."

"Well see, there you are wrong. Right now, it's a steal. The market isn't so good, and the house needs a little work."

"What kind of work?"

"A few pipes in the basement are almost completely rusted through, a big section of the roof needs to be replaced—just the shingles, and then little things, like some fresh paint, new carpeting, and some new hardware on the windows. An updated lock on the front door wouldn't hurt either."

She looked skeptical. "That sounds like an awful lot, Derek."

"Nothing I can't fix myself. Though I admit, I'm not great at fixing roofs, I might need to get some help on that." He was being honest, most of it he could get done before she was due, and the roof was the only thing that concerned him, which is why he was prepared to haggle.

"It's a nice looking house…"

"Come on, let me show you the inside," he said, pushing his door open. He collected Addy from her car seat, zipping up her coat, and sliding her hat back on her head. "Come on pretty girl, we're going to show Mommy a really nice house."

He took Emily's hand, and led her to the house, passing her the baby when then got to the door. He typed in his real estate code, hard-earned years ago, and took the key from the box. The deadbolt was a bit old, and if they bought the place, it would be the first thing he replaced. He'd seen too much horror over the years to take any chances with his family.

Morgan led the way into the foyer, and then through to the kitchen, living room, and the beautiful back deck. There was a yard big enough for a couple of kids to hang around, and a barbeque or two. Since it was so cold, they didn't stay outside. He headed instead, up the grand staircase to the bedrooms.

"See here, we've got two bedrooms, with a bath between them, and then down there is the master suite. It's nice, isn't it?" He asked.

Emily nodded, and he could almost see the wheels in her head turning. "It's very nice. But, you're right, this carpet has too go. All of it."

"Yeah, an old lady lived her for years with her cats, and couldn't really handle the upkeep or the clean-up." While the smell had dissipated some time ago, the stains from feces and urine were still visible.

"Wow, the master suite is big." Emily walked slowly, examining everything, admiring the half pentagon of windows and the seat beneath.

"That's great isn't it?" The second he saw those windows, he couldn't help but picture Emily sitting there with Addy in her lap, both in pajamas, reading a book together. Now he was imagining Emily there nursing their new baby. Or maybe just the two of them snuggling beneath a blanket.

"It's beautiful."

He smiled. "Come on, there's something else I want to show you." He led her past the master suite down a hallway to another room. Actually, it was another suite. "This was originally built as servants' quarters, but I was think we could use it as a guest suite. And, if one of the kids is special needs, and we need to hire someone full-time, we can give them their own little area here. That stairwell there, it leads right into the kitchen."

"Your mother could come visit, she always says she doesn't see Addy enough." Emily leaned against him, seeming surprisingly tired.

"Your mother could visit too."

Instantly she perked up, turned to him and rolled her eyes. "We do not want my mother for an extended visit. Trust me."

"She's not that bad."

"Derek, I grew up with the woman, trust me. She'd critique everything from what we feed the kids to how you stand when you pee."

His eyebrows shot up. "Remind me to lock the bathroom door the next time we have her over."

She grinned.

"So, what do you think? Should I put in an offer?" He asked.

"Let's crunch the numbers tonight and see," she said.

"Did I mention that there's a basement? I was think we can put up a heavy bag, and some equipment on one side, and a home office on the other. This way we can work or workout at home, and not worry about what to do with the kids." He tried not to sound to excited, he didn't want to pressure her into it, but he knew they'd never find a more perfect house.

Emily kissed him. "Numbers. Home. Tonight. Let's get home, Addy needs dinner."

* * *

><p>Emily couldn't sleep.<p>

She was laying curled on her side, wide awake. One eyeball was uselessly planted on the curtains in her bedroom, the other was just as uselessly planted on Derek's chest. He was on his back, dead to the world, understandably considering the emotional turmoil of their day. God knows, she should be in a coma.

They'd returned from the house, fed Addy, made dinner, got the baby to bed, and then worked on analyzing their budget. They both knew she could easily ask her mother for any money they might need, but they both also knew she would never do it. Not unless it was a matter of life and death. Her relationship with the Ambassador had improved somewhat since Addy's birth, but it was a tenuous improvement. And Emily wasn't deluded enough to think it would actually last.

With that thought it mind, Emily huffed and pushed herself out of bed. No use in staying if she couldn't sleep anyway, right?

It would be tight until both their places sold, but they could afford the house if they really wanted it. Morgan's place was already on the market, and should take a sizable chunk out of the massive mortgage. The Victorian was a beautiful house, and should be priced at over half a million dollars. Fortunately for them, it needed a lot of work, so that dropped the cost to just under $400,000. It was damn good. They'd agreed to put in an offer, and he'd called the real estate agent right away.

Emily walked to the nursery, pushing the door open silently and heading toward the crib. Addy was fast asleep on her back, her head turned slightly to one side, her dark hair already thick and past her ears. In the corner of the crib sat the stuffed pony Derek had bought her shortly after she was born. Addy rarely went anywhere without the pony.

She smiled at her daughter and sat in the rocker Derek had given her the same day as the pony. That day seemed so long ago, but barely a year and a half had passed. She'd experienced more change in that time than in the ten years before it. She was a mother. Derek Morgan, the quintessential ladies man, had practically moved in, and they were actually pretty happy together, the last couple months notwithstanding. They were about to buy a house together. A home really, on a residential street where they could give their kids stability and a yard to run around in. Kids.

Emily rested a hand on her flat abdomen, and inhaled.

She'd aborted one baby and given birth to another without even knowing she'd existed. Neither pregnancy was really wanted, and both experiences were fraught with fear, doubt and panic. This time would be different. This would be the first pregnancy she could enjoy, the first baby she would welcome with open arms. The first time the man who got her pregnant said, "I love you," instead of, "I can't deal with this."

Yet, she was still terrified.

Hand still resting on her stomach, Emily stood beside her daughter's crib again. She peered at the tiny, sleeping figure, and tried to imagine a life where Addy struggled everyday to do what others take for granted. To understand people, to make herself understood, to be like every other kid. It wasn't fair. If she'd known, if she'd only known, she'd have done better. She would have done everything right, down to proper meals and getting enough rest.

But she'd failed.

Emily released a shaky breath, and ran a hand gently over Addy's head. "I'm so sorry, baby girl."

* * *

><p>The next evening, Emily was sitting in the conference room of the local Sheriff's office in what had to be the smallest town in New Hampshire. Her head was resting in one hand, while she pawed through stacks of photos, reports and files.<p>

Reid was standing at the whiteboard beside her, scribbling things and talking to himself, working on the profile of their unsub. She was on victimology. JJ and Hotch were at the latest crime scene, and Rossi was with one of the locals, speaking with the last victim's family. It was the same dance they always did, except this time she was desk-bound.

Distraction getting the better of her, Emily moved the hand sifting through the papers to rest on her abdomen. Beneath her fingertips, under the warm flesh of her low belly, a baby was constantly growing and developing. It was so tiny now, barely even there, but in the months to come this life would grow to become a child. Her child. The baby she and Derek had made some careless evening.

Actually, if the doctor's calculations were correct, it was lunchtime. In his office. And that would be why there were no condoms involved.

She slid her hand over her abdomen and tried to imagine it swollen with their baby. Hell, Emily wondered if it even would swell in the traditional sense. So far it had been normal, but with her history, she wasn't going to take anything for granted. She wanted the experience though, not the gas or heartburn, but to feel the baby moving around, to know she carried their child in her body, safe and warm.

"Hey, hey it's a party in here," a jovial voice called, startling both her and Reid. They glanced at each other, and then Emily slid the laptop over to her, as Reid came to stand by her shoulder.

"There you are," Garcia said.

"You know if it had been just one of the locals in here, you'd have had some interesting things to explain," Emily said, noting that her daughter was in Garcia's lap, playing with the tech's purple fuzzy pen.

"I would have told them the truth: I am the official goddess of tech wisdom and all things funky."

"Oh, so you've added to your title then?"

"Yes, well you see the more weird I add on, the more uncomfortable it makes Manny. According to Morgan, he hasn't gotten used to me yet, and I just can't resist playing with him." She often helped Morgan's team as well, her way to maintain her connection with him, and apparently his team members also spoke with Garcia.

"Nice. Can I ask why you have my daughter?"

"Well, Derek's team got a case, so I have the munchkin until one of you gets back. Don't worry, she's being an angel, aren't you pumpkin?" Garcia kissed the side of her head, Addy glanced at her, but then went back to playing with the pen. "Anyway, what I really called to tell you, is about the case. I found a connection among your victims, it's tenuous, and frankly, I doubt it means much, but it is something they have in common."

"What is it?" Reid asked.

"They all participated in Boys and Girls Clubs of America. Sherry Johnson was only involved for a month, then her parents died and she moved away and didn't keep up with it. But, the other three victims, including your most recent put in at least a year each."

Emily glanced up as the door opened, and Hotch and JJ got back, looking like they had far less information than they would have liked. "Garcia found something," Reid called to them.

They walked over, standing next to Reid, behind Emily, and she prompted the tech to explain it again. She finished with the disclaimer she first gave Reid and Emily. "Like I said, probably doesn't mean much, but there you have it."

"Were they involved with same club?"

"Sort of. So, Sylvia Thomas, your oldest victim, when she was in it, it served the county, it grew quickly, and when Sherry Johnson and Angelique Henderson joined it had broken into two different groups. By the time Carolina Juarez joined, there were four separate groups serving the county."

Hotch frowned. "Can you see if anyone was involved in all those years?"

"Were Sherry Johnston and Angelique Henderson in the same group, or were they each in one of the two?" Reid asked.

"They were in the same, but only for two weeks, the Sherry left."

"Garcia trace anyone who was involved in the original group and ended up in the victim's groups," he said.

"On it. Anything else?"

"Ma….Ma…" Everyone was instantly focused on Addy, who was looking at the screen now, one chubby, saliva-coated finger pointed at Emily.

"Did she just…?" Emily asked, afraid to believe it.

"Ma. Ma. Ma. Ma Ma." The baby prattled. "MaM…MaMa…"

"Oh my god," Emily. "Oh my god, she…oh baby girl, you're talking." Her hands flew to her mouth, and her eyes grew wet.

"Oh sweetie, do you see how happy you're making your mama?" Garcia asked, tears in her eyes too.

"MaM!" Addy called, wiggling her arms. "Ma! MaM! MaMa!"

"Baby I can't hold you right now, but I promise when I get home, you'll get whatever you want. I'm so proud of you, Addy." She could feel the tears slipping down her cheeks, but couldn't control them.

Her daughter could talk. Her daughter _was _talking. She shook herself and grabbed her cell phone, dialing Derek's number. "Derek? Addy's talking. She's saying mama, you've got to hear it."

* * *

><p><em>Okay, so that's it for this story. Since interest in this series seems to have tapered off, and I have a ton of other stories in my head, I'm going to junk most of what I had planned. I'll write the birth story, and maybe an epilogue if I feel that's necessary. After that, this series will officially come to an end. <em>

_Thanks for everyone that's reviewed and thanks for reading!_


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: 1/16/12

The next Addy story has been posted. It's called 'Family Recipe', you can find it in my stories. You can also find the complete chronology for this series in the story titled, 'Series'.

-Lost


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